At Candlelighters, we’re proud to fund two NHS outreach play specialists, who help children to understand their diagnosis in an age-appropriate way, and use play to reduce anxiety around treatment and hospital visits. They also do vital work with patients’ siblings to help them understand what’s happening to their brother or sister. And work with bereaved siblings, helping to ease the pressure on parents to know what to say to their other children. The outreach play specialists also work with palliative children and their families. When a child is sadly receiving palliative care, they often don’t need to return to the hospital, so Tracy and Rachel ensure that the family don’t miss out on vital play support by delivering this at home. If a child sadly loses their life to cancer, Tracy and Rachel are there for the whole family, helping them through this incredibly difficult time. Tracy first met Ruby in 2017 at Leeds Children’s Hospital, when her sister Maci aged 13 was sadly diagnosed with an aggressive non-curable brain tumour. Ruby was almost 10 at the time. Mum Susan says: “It was nice for Ruby to know that Tracy was there just to support her, and that she was important too. Tracy was able to explain to Ruby, at an appropriate level, why her sister was in hospital and what was happening. She used age-appropriate resources to begin conversations about Maci’s diagnosis and how this was affecting Maci’s body.” Not long after, Maci sadly deteriorated and was taken to Forget Me Not Hospice. Tracy spent just over a year supporting Ruby following Maci’s death and helped her to understand the strong feelings that grief and missing someone brings. They spent time capturing nice memories of Maci in activities and also worked through some difficult ones too. She liaised with school to ensure the right support was in place and helped Ruby’s transition to high school. Ruby says: “I first met Tracy when I was almost 10 and my sister had just arrived at the hospital. It was a very scary time for everyone in my family, but across multiple sessions with Tracy, I started to understand more about what was happening to my sister, in a way that I could understand and process. “Tracy was there for me after my sister passed away, she was my person – she still is. Grief is a difficult thing for any person to go through, and losing my big sister at a young age made it more difficult to process until some more time had passed, and I had learned more about the emotions I was feeling. The sessions I had with Tracy were really important to help me work through what I was feeling, and understand why it was okay that I felt how I did. “Without Tracy’s help, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I am grateful that she was there when I needed her, and glad that she is there for other people like me.” Mum Susan echoes that sentiment: “We are so grateful that Tracy helped all of us in so many ways and how would we have ever coped without her. Her role is definitely invaluable.“
Tracy and Rachel use therapeutic play as a specialist tool to help children with their diagnosis and treatment – including coping with anxiety, understanding their diagnosis and preparing for procedures. Many of the children helped by Tracy and Rachel are on-treatment patients, who are struggling with some aspect of their treatment. These children need extra assistance away from the hospital within their own home, where they often feel safe, in control and less anxious.Ruby’s story
During this short period in hospital, Tracy was able to spend time with Ruby, whilst Maci was an inpatient. Tracy provided Ruby some light relief from such an intense and devastating situation, with craft sessions and a safe space to ask questions and express her feelings.
Tracy helped mum Susan understand how a child may grieve. Susan says: “Tracy was always at the end of a phone for advice. Ruby was encouraged by Tracy to attend the bereaved sibling group at Candlelighters and met other children in a similar situation. She continued to enjoy this for several years.”
“I am still in contact with Tracy to catch up, and we recently had a meeting to talk more about her job and how she got there, because that is something I am working towards in the future. She has motivated me to consider working towards a career in a caring profession.
Tracy says: “Eight years on, it is lovely to hear and see what an amazing young lady Ruby has become. It fills me with pride to hear that my input and work with Ruby had such a huge impact not only at that time in her life, but how it has influenced her career choice. And it’s thanks to Candlelighters that this role and vital support exists.”
