Abi and Anthony live in Bradford with their two children, Harper and Oscar. Aged just three years old, Harper was diagnosed with a rare tumour. Abi shares their story… “We spent five months not knowing what was wrong with Harper, endless tests and procedures with no answers. The moment we got the diagnosis was the moment our lives changed forever. Harper was diagnosed with a really rare and aggressive tumour, and we found out she would need chemotherapy every week for the next six months, which was just the start of our journey. Things move so quickly and you get thrown into a world that you’re not prepared for, there’s no guidebook for how to navigate it as every family’s journey is so different. It took a big toll on each of us. Your whole life changes, every day routines go completely out of the window. Harper is so strong, most days stronger than us, she’s incredible. But as parents, it was really hard to watch our little girl go from confident and bubbly to so scared and isolated. Candlelighters has been there every single step of the way. From the moment we were told Harper’s diagnosis, they were waiting with open arms. Having the Family Support Workers on the ward has really helped us through. Things like a cup of tea and a chat might seem small to someone who hasn’t been through it, but it’s so important when you are in this isolated and lonely bubble – they make you feel secure and safe when everything is so uncertain. They’re great with Harper too, she loves arts and crafts, so they bring stickers and play dough and sit with her for a while which keeps her happy and entertained. I’ve also had access to Candlelighters talking therapy, and I can’t express how much it helped. As Harper’s mum, I struggled to cope with her treatment and also felt guilty about being away from Oscar, who was only two. We had amazing support, but when the door closed, it was a lot to process. Those early days were dark, and having a safe space to talk made all the difference. It helped me accept what was happening and reminded me that we were doing our best, and that was enough. But it’s showed us how strong we are as a family, everything we can get through and it’s brought us closer. Most days Harper is stronger than we are, she gets us through it and is doing amazingly – we just need to keep strong for her. I don’t think we’ll ever be able to thank Candlelighters enough for everything they have been able to do for us, and all the families they touch. We have received so much support from which wouldn’t be possible if not for people fundraising and giving all they can. You don’t realise the impact of what that little bit of help can do until you’re on the receiving end of it. Could you make a donation today to support families like Harper’s? 
As a family, we’ve also loved attending Candlelighters events like the Family Fun Day at Sherburn Aero Club. When your child is on treatment, chances to feel like a normal family are rare. There was no talk of cancer, just fun. Harper even flew in a plane for the first time and loved it! Being able to enjoy that without financial stress was special. I spent the first year of Harper’s treatment off work and going down to a one income household brought its own pressures.
We’re nearly two years in, and our journey has been very up and down. We don’t know how long it will last. Living with that uncertainty is tricky, it’s a rollercoaster no one can prepare you for and you can only truly understand when you’re in it.
